By Karen Blumenfeld
When jamele adams walks into a room, he settles in, listens, and begins asking questions — not the kind designed to produce answers, but the kind that invite something harder: courage.
That approach is at the heart of Conversations, Not Confrontations, the four-session series adams led in Wayland between February and May. The series provided participants with a toolkit and opportunities to practice new skills like listening so others will speak, navigating difficult exchanges online and in person, and responding deliberately to words that provoke. According to adams, who spells his name in lower-case letters as a quiet reminder that the work is bigger than any one person, the distinction he works hard to establish “is the one between a confrontation, which closes people off, and a conversation, which opens them up.”
The catalyst for the series was a contentious string of conversations on the Wayland Community Forum Facebook group following an incident at Wayland High School last October. In the aftermath, the Wayland Public Schools and the Wayland Human Rights, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Committee (HRDEIC) found themselves asking the same question: What could be done to lower the temperature when community conversations turn heated?
They turned to adams, whose work building restorative communities across the region made him a natural fit. He was already on the ground working with the Wayland High School football team. Bringing him to adult audiences felt like an opportunity to give adults in the community tools complementary to the ones he was teaching at the high school. The series was co-sponsored by the Wayland Public Schools and HRDEIC and made possible through the generous support of the Lydia Maria Child Fund of First Parish in Wayland, which also served as its host.
adams noted that many people are never taught the skills to navigate conflict. When conflicts arise, they are left with anger, shame, or silence, none of which produces healing. In this workshop series, adams offered a different path, one he describes as “a structured, humane process for sitting with complexity, naming it honestly, and working it through with love.”
“I attended several sessions of the series and was genuinely moved by the experience,” said participant Najiba Akbar. “It reminded me how rare and valuable it is to have structured spaces where people can engage across differences without defensiveness or shutdown. When we invest in creating spaces like this — rooted in real human connection and thoughtful dialogue — we strengthen the fabric of our community in very real, tangible ways.”
The series did not end with a tidy resolution. It ended with a foundation, a shared vocabulary and a set of practices that participants were asked to carry forward as an ongoing commitment.
In an era when public life often feels frayed beyond repair, adams is building something sturdier. He believes harm can be met with humanity and that healing, slow and collective, can be taught. In Wayland and across the region, he is making the case, one conversation at a time.
